Khadi Couture
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi is addressed as the father of the nation; a father who laid down austere principles such as Satyagraha; a father who extricated us from the shackles of imperialism; a father who looks after us from the heaven and goads us to follow the righteous path and to act judiciously. But all his values have been relegated to mere symbolism by the so called ‘guardians of the constitution’ and by groups of elite infidels who nonchalantly exercise their luxurious might to import his priceless articles in order to ostentatiously claim that they have obliged him. M.K. Gandhi who sparely used khadi to cover his bare body has given way to diabolical politicians who try to shield their pervious souls with sartorial clothing. In doing so, they never dither from asserting that they are preserving the essence of the celestial khadi; that very khadi, which is the epitome of Indian independence; khadi, which unites the Indian diversity. The essence of khadi today is higgledy-piggledy as today’s politician’s beret harbours a sinister mind; a mind which is only profound at hurling invective against other religions; a mind which unabashedly pursues its own vested interests. They are ensured a formidable security with gun-toting commandos flanking them from all sides because they are always apprehensive about their safety, not that of their nation’s. When will they realize that the sundry officials who protect them can never protect them from perdition; perdition which is beckoning them with each vote; perdition which will castigate them in hell? Only you can make a difference; because it is your vote that is going to decide the future of the nation; it is your vote that is going to provide a propitious beginning for the coming generations; it is you vote that counts!
Till Hell Do Us Apart !!!!
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since most people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that almost all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true.
Satanic Verses
When was the last time you addressed your parent as a Satan? Probably never. How can you allude to your parent as a ghoul; the parent who sired you into this world; the parent who cradled you in his hands; the parent who swooned over you when you crawled; the parent who held your finger when you tottered on your feet; the parent whose barren world turned into an idyll when he peered into it through your eyes? Today that parent’s morals stand eroded; worse still, it has shattered a daughter’s belief in the purity of her relationship with her father; the purity which is now tarnished; the purity which once resided in their blood. We, human beings are all voyeuristic in some respect or the other. But what kind of a person can inflict the trauma of incest on his own daughter? Only a person whose soul is debauched; a person whose spirit is polluted. How can a father sexually predate his own daughter at the insistence of a perverse ‘tantrik’ with the mother abetting the ghastly crime? The barbaric incidences which came to light recently have brought disgrace to the paternal identity which struts about with its woefully dominating attitude. We quibble about religious bigotry and political heresy; we bicker for the rights of gays, for acceptance to the lesbians. But what is being witnessed here cannot be tolerated; we cannot remain mere spectators to a girl’s world being torn apart, her life getting devastated. If you are testimony to such horrendous violence, don’t refrain yourself from raising your voice, don’t let yourself be the antagonist of the denoument. Remember – silence of the lambs can be deafening at times.
